The Jack Who Wasn't
by blushingbeauty86
Summary: ONE SHOT It seems tha' convincing Captain Jack Sparrow tha' he is in fact Captain Jack Sparrow when he has the belief in the otherwise is a fool's errand. A bizarre turning of the tables


_**Just a bizarre little snippet that didn't really fit in with the story I've got now. Enjoy.**_

Christina stepped into the brothel, unsure of why and where she was exactly but finding the establishment to be the only one within sight. As expected, the brothel was filled with it's sultry employees and those whom they had drawn. It breathed a tantalizing air of sexual appeal and depraved yearning. Getting a few glances as she walked further into the brothel, she glanced back, searching in vain for a familiar face.

"As, but the question is not one of what ye need, luv, but one of what ye truly want."

Christina's eyes flicked reflexively in the general direction from whence the voice had drifted from. She looked for a red bandanna and dreaded hair but found none as a woman's response was heard, muffled by the droning chattering of the other patrons.

"If ye take a moment t'think about it honestly, how much is gratifyingly earth shattering pleasure worth t'ye? Much more than me rate, I assure ye ye'll find."

Jack.

Christina recognized the drawling slur as belonging to the pirate commonly known as Captain Jack Sparrow. She scanned the crowd around her again, her eyes coming to rest on the bar. He was draped casually, leaning on the counter top and speaking to the woman who sat on a stool beside him. Christina made haste for them.

"I'm not sure I really want to...," the woman was musing, although it would have been obvious to any other female present within a mile radius that she was holding back a heavy wave of lust for the handsome, seductive man that grinned at her as Christina reached them.

"Jack," Christina stated simply.

Jack lifted his dark eyes casually to hers before subtly lowering them to the rest of her, "'Ello, lass."

Christina resisted the urge to stretch out a hand and slap the cocky grin off his face, "What exactly are you doing?" The other woman shot a looked at Jack and Christina and then left, not wanting to be part of a domestic spat.

"Wait!" Jack tried to stop her but she slipped out of his grasp. He turned to glare at Christina, upset at having lost a perfectly good conquest, "The question is not what I'm doing but what _you're_ doing. What d'ye mean by questioning a man whom you do not know what he is doing and why would ye assume it's any of yer business in the first place?"

Christina looked back at him in apparent surprise, "What do you mean, I don't know you?"

"Let me correct myself, lass: _I_ don't know _you_. Whether you know me is a different story but ye cannot expect a man of my profession t'recognise every woman who has known him intimately, jus' by the sight of her," he told her with a flick of his hand. His eyes were intruded by a glint of amusement, "That task, however, is made much easier once she's screaming yer name again."

"A man of your profession?" Christina repeated incredulously, "I know being a pirate will naturally cause one's morals to depleat but I hardly think it calls for you to sleep with more women than you can recall."

Jack stared at her blankly for a moment before he lifted his brows in realization and looked down at himself, "Oh, right. The uniform."

Christina frowned at him, not seeing anything out of place about his attire, "Uniform?"

"Yer right, it's more of a costume, in'nit? Completely ridiculous t'say the least but the women seem t'like the pirate get up so can't complain really," he shrugged.

"You _are_ Captain Jack Sparrow, aren't you?" Christina had an absurd thought that she had maybe stumbled upon Jack's completely unstable long lost twin brother by chance.

"I'm whoever ye wish me t'be, luv," Jack replied elusively. When she rolled her eyes instead of turning to putty in his hands, he gave an irritated sigh, "I 'aven't a clue who yer referrin'' to, luv."

"Yes, you do," Christina argued stubbornly.

"No, I assure ye, I don't," Jack shook his head.

"But you do!"

"Ah, but I don't."

"How is it possible for you not to know who I'm talking about when I'm talking about you yourself?" Christina cried shrilly, "You _do_ know!"

Jack winced at her high pitch, "Yer right lass, ye caught me. I'm jus' pretending to have no bloody clue who yer talking about, jus' fer some fun. I know exactly who yer talking about. Happy?" Christina frowned at him in frustration. He eyed her tiredly, uninterested as he sighed, "Look, if yer so set on the idea that I am who ye say I am, why don't ye tell me a little bit about this Jack Sparrow-"

"Captain Jack Sparrow," Christina corrected quickly.

Jack lifted his hands in mock defense, "Sorry fer me ignorance."

After a long breath, Christina started, "You sacked Port Nassau without so much as a single shot-"

"Have ye considered the possibility that a seeming miracle like that could be traced t'the poor bastards lack of 'em?"

"You killed Barbossa for betraying you when you lost the Black Pearl ten years ago-"

"Wait, it took him a decade t'get his revenge? If yer purpose is t'impress me with this character, ye best be havin' something more extraordinary to tell me about him than that, lass."

"You escaped from the island your crew marooned you on."

"Wonder what we'd find out if we shifted our attention t'why his crew marooned him in the first place, hm?"

"On the day you were to be hung, you escaped from right under the noses of dozens of the King's Finest with naught but a rope!"

"Well, I'm sure tha' particular mishap didn't say a lot for his sense of resources, now did it?"

Christina let out a cry of frustration, running out of things to tell the pirate about himself. Abruptly, her eyes lit up. How could she forget his true love? The one woman whom he could never deny, never turn his back on or pretend to have forgotten. She smiled proudly.

"The Black Pearl."

"I'm sorry?" Jack pressed for her to elaborate.

"Your ship, the Black Pearl! She's known throughout the seven seas, just by a glimpse of her."

"Aye, with the most telling factor being the lunatic at the helm that ye insist on repeatedly trying to convince me I am."

"So you honestly believe you're a whore then?" Christina challenged bluntly.

"Well, I prefer the term 'escort' but since ye seem so set on insulting me in any way ye can contrive, I'll let it slide," Jack replied dryly.

"Jack!" a husky woman called out, looking as though she were the owner of the brothel. She gracefully waved him over, standing beside a young woman who eyed him seductively. Jack bared his teeth in a smile, waved and held up his index finger to communicate that he would be but one minute. He turned back to Christina, his smile now forced. He spoke carefully as though she were slightly unstable.

"Now, as truly delightful and entertaining this has been, I really must be off, luv. Clients t'satisfy and the like. So unless yer looking to purchase it, me presence is required elsewhere." He hovered for a little while, awaiting her response. When she gave none, he gave an obligated sigh.

"Ye don't come into these places very often, d'ye lass?"

Christina stared at him blankly, "To be honest Jack, I'm still trying to figure out just what this place is, how I got here and why you're working as a who- ... escort here."

Jack nodded, "I don't think I would be wrong in assuming that's a no."

"Jack!" the owner called again, this time with the slightest hint of impatience invading her smooth voice.

"Coming!" Jack called back coarsely, irritated, without lifting his eyes from Christina, "So, luv, are ye buyin' or not?"

Slowly, Christina shook her head.

"I bid ye farewell then, milady," Jack tipped his hat to her and then swaggered away towards his waiting client with what Christina could only imagine would be a wide, cocky smile. She watched as he had a few words with the owner and the woman who openly let her eyes drift up and down Jack's body lustfully. If he was uncomfortable, he certainly didn't let it show, taking the opportunity to whisper a suggestive word or two in her ear. The woman started to lead him upstairs but he paused, saying something that she frowned at, obviously not appreciative. She shuffled through her coat pockets, retrieving her purse from which she removed a notable sum of money from and placed it in Jack's outstretched hand. Jack promptly pocketed the pay, took the woman's arm and led her upstairs. Christina could only watch in shock with the smallest amount of ill placed amusement as they disappeared.

Abruptly, unable to handle anymore of the strange night, she turned to leave, running right into Will, causing him to remove his mouth from a dazed looking woman's lips. His eyes widened upon spotting her, "Don't tell Liz..." Christina didn't hear anymore, quickly running past him and towards the door which seemed to drift further and further away the faster she made haste for it.

She almost choked when she saw Norrington, surrounded by lustful women and apparently not minding in the least. She only tore her eyes off the spectacle to have them land on another, much less intriguing and much more disturbing one.

"Mr Gibbs! God, no!"

Christina awoke with a start in bed. She took a long breath, turning over to face the bed's other occupant, "Jack?"

"Hmm?" Jack lifted his brows at his name, not opening his eyes.

"What do you do for a living?" Christina whispered.

The brows now lowered "Las' time I checked I was a pirate. But that was at least three hours ago..."

"Not a whore?" Christina pressed.

Jack opened his eyes groggily, "I'd say it would be a bit hard t'think I was a pirate when I was in fact a whore."

"What about Will?"

"What about Will? He's a bloody blacksmith fer cryin' out loud."

"And... Mr Gibbs?"

Now Jack frowned, a little disturbed, "I'm a loss as t'why ye found it important t'wake me up in the middle of the night and discuss whether or not Will, Mr Gibbs and meself are whores or not but is there any chance this fascination could wait 'till morning?"

Christina nodded and they both prepared to go back to sleep. A few minutes later, however, Christina opened her eyes thoughtfully.

"What do you think about Norrington?"


End file.
